Ahh, Easter. Shepherd of Spring. Time of salvation. Well, mostly it’s the time of ham consumption and candy-grubbing with my family, but most of us go to church, too. It’s usually a pretty good time, with an Easter egg hunt for the little ones, sports on TV, the obligatory gorging on snacks forbidden during Lent, and (of course) copious amounts of candy. Baskets of puffy Peeps that make your teeth physically feel like they’re rotting out while you chew. Sweet, sweet peanut butter eggs. Outrageous quantities of milk chocolate, in solid rabbit form. It’s a pretty sweet day.
Unluckily for me, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. Not for the refined stuff, anyway. Baklava, Snickers, I’m all over it– but I can’t shovel in the Peeps and jellybeans like the rest of my family. So here I am, three weeks later, with a Zip-Loc bag containing three pounds of novelty jellybeans, aforementioned Peeps and bunnies, and other weird confections. Last year’s bunny clung around until August, when he finally melted to the box (and shelf) and I had to admit to myself I was never going to eat him. (Catholics have guilt too! I can’t throw food away.)
But this year… I have a plan. I call it “The Silence of the Peeps.”
Though now earless, the Bunny Beatrix Kiddo lorded over the severed pieces of the Peeping Eighty-Eights… Okay, okay, I know it looks sick. And I felt sick chopping those Peeps to bits with my chef’s knife, sicker when I stood the ear-less, delicious bunny up to take the photo, and sickest of all that the bunny didn’t know he was next under the knife. But do you know how delicious this is going to be? Ponder:
Make a rectangle of eight graham crackers on baking sheet and brush with melted butter. Meanwhile, on cutting board, chop 12-15 leftover Peeps (a little stale is okay). Sprinkle cubed Peep chunks over cracker evenly. Next, shred solid chocolate rabbit (ears need not be intact) with blade. Sprinkle over Peep parts. Bake at 250 degrees Fahrenheit until marshmallow has gone puffy and chocolate is gooey. Apply top layer of crackers. Cool slightly, then break into bars. Photo optional.
You see now? Nectar of the flippin’ gods here. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go lose a filling in one of these sticky little suckers.
